I'm just trying to find a way to be beautiful.

like the stars

He told me he missed me.

"I miss you like the stars miss the night sky"

And when I thought of all the ways I missed him, my heart couldn't stop.

I miss him like an untouched piano misses the sound of resonating music notes.

If the moon ever left, the ocean tides would miss it the way I miss him.

I miss him like a poet misses the rythmic sound of words bouncing off an audience.

I miss him like a caged bird misses the sky.

I miss him like a crippled man misses the quick moving pavement below his running feet.

Abandoned playgrounds miss children's laughter the way I miss him.

I miss him like rain drops miss the clouds.

I miss him lost left socks miss cold left feet.

I miss him like bound sails miss the feeling of wind that blows acoss the sea.

I miss him like the ground beneath fresh snow misses the warmth of the summer sun.

I miss him like a woman who loves a man misses him while she's away.

I think about all of the ways I love him and my heart never wants to stop.

Where are my words and why are all the type writers gone?

What the hell is depression and why in gods name did it choose me of all people to host this guestless party?

Somedays I see lights if sunshine through his bedroom window, and some nights the terrors find me in his bed. I can't shake it.

These shadows from my past. They drag me down into the darkest depths of each and every ocean.

Brightness is followed by the deepest of darkness, but just as my strength gives out light finds me once again. 

I can't take it, the constant push and pull of my souls ocean tide.