@ signs, #hashtags, and my overly dramatized life.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

I am broken and you are perfection

My fast beating heart worries that one day you and this blissful feeling of love will leave me.

I worry that the shadows of my imperfect life will cover all the sunshine I bring you and you will flee for brighter lands.

I struggle to hide the darkness that lurks in my cracked and broken soul; because you deserve perfection and all I deserve is holes.

It's impossible. For me to give you everything. Because everything I have would be nothing for a king.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

i'm not pretty.

I am not pretty.

I do not even come close to being beautiful.

I will NEVER be anything close to the expectations either of those words carry.

All I am is Asher.
Evelyn Asher Puriri.
With a wide set nose that is a dead give away of her Polynesian heritage.
With an odd lisps that has been around since the first days she can remember.
With an overly sensitive heart.
With long hair that she hides behind.
With big feet.
With stretch marks that mark each and every one of her struggles.
With scars.
With big hands.
With a feeling of inferiority.
With uncontrollable hair.
With a small chest.
With Asian  eyes and an awkward laugh.
With  an uneven bight and yellowed teeth.
With a scattered brain.
With a healing heart.
With heath issues.
With bulky eyebrows and hair in undesirable places.
With a tendency to sing out of key.
With a carefree mentality and a worried temperament.
With Sad eyes and a broken soul,

THIS IS ALL I AM

Take me, take me as I am.
Or leave me.
Leave me here to be,
to be just what I am.

Because all though I am not perfect, I am a lover. I am forgiving and kind. I always look for the best in people and I forgive the short comings. I choose to be blind to the failures of others. I am kind. I give, and give, and give. I believe in every dream and support every goal. I try to make each wish come true. I find joy in the darkest moments and lead others to the light. I am a giver. I provide every time I can. I Band-Aid each wound, and kiss every boo-boo. I cook and clean and sing like I am GOD DAMN CINDERELLA.

WHAT IS MY LIFE?
-an ugly mess
-a fucking joke
-a desperate search for some real happiness
-delusions


Fuck "reality" and everything it brings.

Love isn't unconditional, and any state of conditionality is a lie.