Saddles and sparklers

He is Indian headdress feathers, and nervous first kisses. He is rodeo tickets, my favorite boots, and all the memories hidden in scuff marks. He's the dust storm in my head, and every cactus I see. He is the 4th of July, and I'm still seeing all his colors in my skies.

O h f o r freedoms s a k e stop trying

I bet Grace Kelly knows what it's like to look in my mirror.

"The trick isn't being pretty, it's acting pretty." But I'm a terrible actress, and not the least bit convincing.

I hit rock bottom last night. Literally. Happiness found my out stretched arms and black bike tires carried the weight from these shoulders. Blood was far from pure but thoughts were white like snow and free like doves. 

                  And oh did I fly.

Blue ribbon wings

Broken sidewalk runways

c o o l  d a r k  s i l e n c e  , 

               w a r m  b r i g h t  f r e e d o m

Do you get what I mean?

I'm a little dizzy and my head is still spinning so I'm hoping you will go easy on me.

My legs are tired from chasing my heart around, so keeping up with you takes everything I have left.

I just want you to kiss me again.

Set my forests on fire, and light up my skies. Rattle these cages made of my bones. Shatter all the windows, and slam all the doors.

Inspire me.

Let the ink from my pen bleed down these pages.

I can't ignore the way your heartbeat calls to me.

 I can see them now. Your stars, they're everywhere. These night skies take me by the hand and pull me from the city glow I've been trapped in. I can't help but to lose myself in it all.

You've got me singing.

You've got me second guessing everything. 

You've got me strapped into this roller-coaster you're running, and I'm ready to ride 

Wether it be for a night

                            or an hour

                                     or a second

I'm ready. 

I just want you to kiss me again.

June 5, 2k13.

#SummerBlog

101 things I've been thinking about;

1. Semicolons 

2. Wild fires

3. Why all ice cubes aren't spheres.

4. How many people notice that I notice.

5. Music.

6. The sounds my body makes when it's really quiet.

7. Sound.

8. What it would be like to live above a coffee shop in Oregon.

9. Sex on the beach.

10. The power of suggestion.

11. Spiders.

12. My eyebrows.

13. What life as an army wife would really be like.

14. TMNT.

15. How this little symbol, #, has 3 identities.

16. Cutting my hair.

17. The sound breaking glass makes.

18. What qualifies a person as a liar.

19. Weddings.

20. Making money.

21. Drinking.

22. The old T-Swift songs.

23. Junior high.

24. Cafe rio grilled steak salads.

25. The lyrics to multiple songs overlaid in my head that make a soundtrack for my life.

26. What I would look like with a Tyra Banks style ANTM make-over.

27. Expensive shoes.

28. Windows.

29. Standing on my tip toes.

30. Hips.

31. Leather seats.

32. Heals and appropriate places I can wear them.

33. Airplanes, and overhead storage.

34. Donut sticks.

35. Equal rights.

36. How seven elven makes Slurpees.

37. Starving babies in Africa.

38. Starving babies everywhere.

39. Riding across the country on the bake of someone's bike.

40. Awkward, the MTV show.

41. Alternative career paths.

42. How drowning feels.

43. Tanlines.

44. Freedom.

45. Password requirements.

46. The worlds lack of trust.

47. What the red line is called, the little one that tells me I can't spell.

48. Logan. 

49. Natural disasters.

50. Blind people.

51. Food networks next iron chef.

52. Guns.

53. A scientific explanation for skin colors. (Like honestly though..)

54. Gas prices.

55. Value.

56. The possibility of a zombie apocalypse.

57. Sigmund Freud.

58. Faust.

59. Who reads my blog.

60. Hair gel.

61. Bridges.

62. Air conditioning that works.

63. Who Little Debbie actually is.

64. Moving.

65. What super power I would choose, if I ever had the opportunity.

66. How to perfectly fold a shirt.

67. Kids.

68. Old school rappers.

69. Social media sex jokes.

70. Curling iron burns.

71. If caskets are comfortable.

72. Weddings.

73. Family recepies.

74. Pitbulls.

75. The life of my iPhone battery.

76. Cage fighting.

77. My lack of tolerance.

78. Emojis.

79. All the books I would buy if I had a personal library.

80. House parties.

81. If my grandparents will get to see me get married.

82. Salsa.

83. Piers.

84. 4th of July fireworks.

85. SNOWCONES.

86. The cultural curve of my nose.

87. Nike socks.

88. Mountains.

89. The vicious cycle of happiness my life is made of.

90. Getting published.

91. The letter x.

92. Locks of love.

93. College.

94. Drug dealer girl - Mike Posner

95. Cake batter Chapstick.

96. Log cabins with open windows and queensized beds.

97. @

98. What falling in love feels like.

99. Problems.

100. Where I'll be in 10 years.

101. Kissing.

June 3, 2k13

#SummerBlog

Let me re-introduce myself;

Anything you are expecting, isn't here.

They call me S-Jay, Jay for short. I have long dark hair and a very short attention span. My past isn't pretty, but my cursive is immaculate. I misplace almost everything in my life, but I prefer the chaos. Perfection is boring. I used a fake I.D to get my right ear pierced a second time. I make mistakes often, and rarely apologize for anything. I find it cliché to wear my seatbelt. Death fascinates me, it is beautiful and terrifying at the same time; I think death and I are similar in that way. I'm a lover, and a fighter. But most of all, I am a writer.

At least that's what some delusional part of me decided, so here we are.

June 1, 2k13

#SummerBlog