Furniture assembly is easy.

This is my tutorial. Or how-to... This is my explanation, my warning, my instructions? This is a series of steps..
No, I'll be honest. This is my botched attempt at being a writer. This is my eulogy to dreaming. An ode to the dead romance of notes in class.

This, is a real guide to being invisible.
An outline of my life, not a read for the faint of heart. Because being a teenager is not the picture of perfection Boy meets world painted in my head.

Some of us are lucky. Being invisible comes naturally, no amount of cover girl cosmetics can change that. (Others have to put in countless hours of work to achieve such invisibility; If you'd like to learn about that, go somewhere else.)

Time spent invisibly tends to pass slowly. Always be prepared. This is a great opportunity to do many things. •Talk to yourself.
•Contemplate running away.
•Catch up on missed episodes of reality t.v shows.
•Read.
•Punch the wall.
•Take copious amounts of pain killers to deal with the pain of teenage angst.

Sometimes I think I should write a book. Or kiss a boy..
If thoughts like this occur, file them somewhere safe.

It is best to avoid all activities, places, and people that come with the possibility of disappointment. When invisible, expectations are almost always to high. Not to worry, you'll get used to the let down. Onion rings, and watching the movie Juno multiple times relieves most symptoms.

Kit-kats and water replace eating.
Info-mercials and MTV replace sleep.
Sweatshirts and trolling replace love.
Daydreams often replace reality.
Embrace these things, without them life is to dull to deal with.

Am I being helpful? I almost hope not. But that's not surprisings. I'm invisible so being cynical is implied and surprises are an urban legend.

I get dressed every morning hoping to get a whistle so I can be hostile towards the boys that are to cool for lunch. They make leaning on the wall look equally time consuming and trendy. They never whistle. This is a typical invisible-to-noninvisible interaction.

Writing is futile. Waiting for someone to read your blog is like waiting for the pizza delivery guy. Who is the closest thing you have to a boyfriend. His mustache is growing in nicely though.

Invisible anonymous meetings are held Tuesdays, on the corner of messy hair drive and bruises boulevard. Never an invitation only event. Please don't R.S.V.P, Be late.

Remember, sarcasm is essential to survival.


Maybe I'm psycho. Maybe I'm brilliant.
Maybe someday someone will notice me and I'll give seminars. I'll be sure to thank you all for buying my version of "Being invisible, for Dummies."


Maybe I'll overdose on coffee and self loathing.